Brie the Martian

October 14, 2008



I have always wondered why Juster and Jen ask me what oil I use on my skin and hair and then act surprised when I say none. I always think "Oil? Why would you add oil to someone who rarely bathes?" Then my heels cracked open and I began to understand the necessity of it. Jen and Juster decided I needed a make-over the other day. So the braided my hair exclaiming how beautiful I would now be. And despite the difference in our hair, they actually did a pretty decent job putting corn rows in. I brought over some old Newsweek magazines, an old Star and Intouch. Bring these to the party actually caused these female teachers to scream with delight. They don't know who any of the people are but are fascinated by American media. I'll begin with the trash celebrity mags- Tanzanians have a totally different concept of beauty than Americans and were shocked to see the revealing clothing. They pointed to a picture of Britany Spears and told me I looked like "that girl". All I thought was "Really? When was the last time I was staggering around the village drunk in a bikini cigarette in hand?" But really, "This is Star Magazine. You could have picked any other white girl in here and it would have been a compliment." But honestly, Tanzanians think all Americans look alike. I have been actually asked how we tell people apart because we all look alike. My answer: we have different eye color, hair color, heights, skin color, builds..... Anyways, one white person, same as all the rest.



So I must admit I have this fantasy. Similar to the one of taking my host siblings to Disneyland just to see what they would do. This one involves giving Juster an American make-over. She thinks she is unattractive because she is thin which does not fit with the African standard of beauty. She is about my height, but much thinner with African woman curves.She wears her hair typically covered and underneath braided. But her hair is about as long as mine and I have watched it get braided. When it is just in its natural state is is big and beautiful. So my image is this: Juster in sunglasses, hair natural, jeans, boots, tank top (She would never wear any of this) strolling down NW 23rd in Portland doing a bit of shopping. She would stop traffic. But she lives in a tiny village in Tanzania, so for now we just have dance parties in her living room- she is incredible, I, on the other hand, am not. The magazines were interesting to watch them read. Because I live in Africa, I am fairly closed off from the rest of the world, but I still know what is out there. Watching them read ads for cars, make-up, reality TV shows that they have no idea exist was weird to see there reactions. Almost more importantly, I was wondering, do they know who Shakespeare even is? And is that really that important when you are trying to get by in an African village in the 21st century? I would like to argue that it is, but I just don't know. It is amazing to think that there are people all over the world that are this closed off- which brings me to the Newsweeks.

The Female teachers have all completed secondary school. Jen and Juster are the only two that speak any English, the rest do not. But 90% of Tanzanians do not go to school past Primary, so this makes these women among the 10% most educated Tanzanians. Yet- I am going to relay some of the conversation we had. I am not judging these women, because they know many skills and things that I do not, but I was surprised by some of the questions I was asked. We speak a combination of Kiswahili and English when we talk, but obviously writing this in English. So I bring the Newsweek out with Obama on the front- we have talked a bit about him- they have heard his name but know little else.

Juster: Brie, you said that this man was African, but he is not. He is Mzungu (White Foreigner).

Me: Why is he Mzungu?- I said he was half black, he is all American.

Juster: Because he is Mzungu clothes (The picture of him he is in a nice suit.) He cannot be the president of the United States.

Me: Why not?

Juster: Because he cannot control all the white people, are you not afraid of war? The white people will start a war. Brie, white people do not like black people. Isn't he part of the second class?

Me: There are black people in America too, and we want Obama. There will not be a war white people against black people. Americans are all equal we have no classes (Not sure this is entirely true, but what we are told to believe, right?)

Juster: I think this is just you. I think you are not afraid of Africans because you live here and are very poor with us. It is very funny that you cook over a fire and have no electricity. You really are very funny. I wonder when Africans go to America we think this is very good for them and they are very smart, but what do Americans think about you coming and living here. You really are going backwards.

Me: Many Americans want to visit Africa. But many are also afraid. They think you are all starting wars like in Sudan and the Congo. They think you all are very hungry and have AIDS. But people in America like to hear about how you live and they are happy that I am here trying to help.

Jen: Yes, Americans are afraid of us. You are very brave because we are very poor. Will Obama help us in Africa?

Me: Yes, I think he will. We want him because he will stop the fighting in Iraq, he is going to help our health care system, find more jobs, help our environment.... (I go on and on with hopes)

Jen: But Americans are very rich, they are all very happy. (This might be the most common Tanzanian misconception about America).

Me: No- things are bad in America. (I go on to try to describe our economic downfall, our worldwide fall in popularity, etc.)

Juster: I can not believe that there are poor people in America. Brie, how many villages in Oregon (They know this is where I am from although they have no idea where it is.) don't have electricity?

Me: (Still working hard to picture what a "village" in Oregon would look like- Drain? Jewell? Glide?- I don't know, she sort of has me here. I look around at the thatched roofs of my village, the mud walls, the chickens milling about, the kids sitting in the dirt... hmmm.... "Oregon villages") That's not poverty in the states. (Then I make a mistake) Some people even live out of their cars, they have no house!

(This elicits a lot of laughter, as I forget that no one has cars here, yet everyone has a mud hut and a corn field.)

Juster: (Jokes) Why do they put their couches- in there cars?

(Clearly, I did not make a good point about American poverty)

Me: Obama is the answer.

Jen: I know there is somewhere called South America. Will he be president there too? (For a second, I judge. How could a teacher who is educated not know the answer to this? I try not to show it on my face. And why should she know? It doesn't affect her any. When I told people I was coming to Tanzania, most people could place it on a map. )

Me: No, it is a separate continent. He won't be president of Canada or Mexico either. Only the United States.

Jen: Oh, yes. It is like Tanzania and Uganda. We have different presidents. But what a bout Bush? Will he be president to?

Me: No. (Again I judge. Then I realize that she actually knows who our president is and how many Americans know who the president of Tanzania is? Anyone?) Just Obama-- luckily.

Juster: Germany and America are very close to each other, yes?

Me: (Again, thinking; "Is she serious?" Later I realize that Germans and Americans are both white and both speak English to Tanzanians- so why not think they are close geographically? If they were in Africa where people looked the same and could speak the same language they would be close.) No, Germany is in Europe- The Atlantic Ocean is between us.

Juster: So, what is your mother tongue?

Me: English

Juster: But what language do your parents speak?

Me: English

Juster: But you only know English?

Me: English, Basi. (Basi is this great Kiswahili word they put at the end of sentences which basically means "stop" or "Enough".)

Juster: In America, everyone speaks English?

Me: Some people speak other languages- but there are no tribal languages like here.

Jen: So what tribe are you?

Me: ( I think of being smart and answering Cherokee and picture my family with feathers and war paint- but the joke would be lost- so I answer) I have some Irish in me.

Jen: So you are Irish?

Me: No, I am American... (It is all lost in Translation- Who am I? What am I doing here? It is all confusion to them. I am a Martian.)